I know I have been missing and silent for a while. I really didn’t feel like I had much to say or worth saying since I had not been painting or drawing.
I know some people might think that, that was exactly what I should be writing about because someone else might be having the same problem. I tried. Every draft I wrote just didn’t feel or sound right, and a few days after writing it, it felt irrelevant. So nothing got posted.
I was frustrated that I couldn’t seem to find the motivation to draw or paint and I kept coming up with different possible explanations and while all were plausible they just didn’t really ring true. All I could see was that I had done 3 watercolor paintings since August of last year and one of those I had nearly abandoned part way through. And another of those I was so disappointed in the outcome that I have not had it digitized. It’s fine as far as quality, I am just disappointed in how it turned out.
I thought that that one disappointing painting was the entire reason I was stuck. And while it was a big factor, it wasn’t the only painting that was causing it. The one I considered abandoning? It was also a factor. It wasn’t that it was disappointing, it was that it had been frustrating, a battle, particularly the background. Actually, both paintings had trouble with the background. And I couldn’t correct them. For one of them, I couldn’t get areas dark enough and for the other, I totally messed up the background and because it was dark I couldn’t really change it. In between those two watercolor paintings I did something a little different.
I did an oil painting last year of a Taekwondo flying side kick. I loved working in oil. It was relaxing and I had so much flexibility. And I could get rich colors very easily. But, that was only my third or so oil painting. I couldn’t really choose that as my main medium since I had so much time invested in watercolor and pastel, among others. And, I had already decided that I was going to focus on using watercolor. Until something in me completely rebelled and decided to be an angry toddler and sit on the floor in the middle of the store until they got their way.
Yep, my inner child threw a temper tantrum and decided it wasn’t going to make anything.
Things have started to change some and I think I have appeased the toddler, finally. First I tried some pastel work and painted a seashell. It came out nice. Then, I decided, that since I wasn’t making anything to sell anyway that I might as well just try something in oil again and see how it goes. I have this picture of a frog I took at the Houston Zoo that I’d been thinking would be good to paint since it is clear and easy to identify so I tried it.
That helped. The inner toddler was happy with that. I found that just a couple of hours was enough time for me to make significant progress. I was enjoying it, I didn’t feel like I was fighting it. And when I got an area a little too dark I was able to fix it. Which was huge for me.
With the watercolors, because I did not and do not have the patience for layering washes, if I wanted real depth and saturation of color, and hadn’t started with a fully saturated load of paint on my brush, I’d have to wait until it dried to go back over it with another layer or risk it looking overworked, or muddy. And if I wasn’t careful and got too much water in the paint for the next layer I would find I was lifting out the color I already put down. In the oil, that has not been the case so far. The longer drying time for oil helps as well because I can go back to an area that needs better blending to eliminate a harsh line I didn’t intend, and I can fix it.
Even though it took a couple of weeks, the truth is I finished the frog relatively quickly in my estimation. I wasn’t working on it daily. I worked on it maybe four or five times over three or four weeks and before I realized it I was done. Or I thought I might be. I got some input that encouraged me to go back and sharpen up some edges, tighten up some definition, and deepen some darks. And then it was done. Ok, I still need to sign it and varnish it but the painting is complete otherwise. And I love how it turned out.
Because I was so happy with how it turned out I started thinking of what to do next in oil. Should I try something more complicated like another taekwondo action piece, or another animal, or a flower. It was suggested that I do the Sea Lion, that I did in black and white stippling, and also again in pastel. The idea being that I should do it in oil. So as I type this, that is what I am working on. By the time I get this posted, who knows. Because here’s the thing, it’s not the only painting I have ready to work on.
I also have a flower painting sketched out and ready for paint. I have at least three more ideas of things to do next. And I’m excited about all of them. I am concerned that I may run out of canvases or canvas board before I get them all done. A small inconvenience if you ask me. Though it is a potentially expensive one as most trips to the art supply store are.
I am most excited about being excited about making art again. I honestly was at such a loss this last year that I was considering just cancelling all of what I have and just not doing it anymore. Or at least not doing any of it for anyone other than myself. Now, I’m excited about making art again, I’m thinking of pieces I want to do, and I’m considering doing some work to update my store and some of my other sites.
So next up is to finish the Sea Lion and while it cures or drys, I’ll start the next painting that I have ready and get another one sketched out for when that one is finished. I’ll also be making some adjustments to my store. I’m considering setting a limited goal of number of paintings for next year so that I pace myself better. I’m hopeful that the rest of this year and going into next year will be better with more art created compared to this time last year. I’ll try to do better to keep you updated.