Climbing Out of the Rut

Posted on August 6, 2019 by SusanG

Ever notice how easy it is to fall into a rut? We do it a lot, I think. We go to the same places for lunch or dinner. Or make the same meals week after week. We go to the same stores for things we need. We watch the same shows over and over. It’s even easy to fall into a rut with hobbies, or exercise routines. And let’s not forget work. A place that might be easiest to fall into a rut. The thing about being in a rut is that it’s cozy and comfortable. Like a warm numbing blanket. Or maybe like that warm cozy bed on a cold rainy morning when the alarm has gone off way too early. It’s comfortable and we don’t tend to be in too big of a hurry to get up, no matter how bad we have to pee.

Taking the Strat out for a spin at the Blues Jam.

I’ve managed to sink into a few ruts over the past few years. Some of my ruts even have ruts. I was there before I even noticed. And I was good at rationalizing what I was doing there. I couldn’t travel easily because it was hard to find pet sitters. I wasn’t going out because I hadn’t met someone. I wasn’t this because of work. I wasn’t that because I didn’t have someone to do that with. Much of those rationalizations were really just excuses. But I could make them sound like good reasons for not doing something. Or more correctly, not doing something different. 

The problem with ruts is not only that they are comfortable, it can be difficult to see you are in one. Especially the big one where all your little ruts live. If we’re lucky, someone will try to point out that we’re in a rut, or five, and we will actually listen to them and then be able to see it for our self. Most of us, might be lucky enough to have someone point out the rut, we just won’t be able to see it. We have all those rationalizations and the person pointing it out just doesn’t understand or we think they don’t see the whole picture. Been there, done that, got all the swag.

It took some time to even see that I was in a rut. I was making small adjustments to address a few things that I knew I wanted or needed to change. Since I was working on change, how could I be in a rut? Then I had an experience with someone that afterwards let me, or made me start to examine what it was about that experience that I wanted to hold onto. And that’s when I found myself standing in a big fat, freaking rut, right in the middle of my life. So, I had that experience as a recent, in your face, tantalizing example and then, as it turned out, I had a friend that, when he popped up one day in my message app, I realized was another example. The two experiences combined were a bit like looking at that mirror in Harry Potter that shows you whatever your heart desires. Though mine is still a little fuzzy around the edges and there are a few smudges here and there. Holy smokes. I’ve fallen into a rut, or maybe twelve. Now what to do about that?

More work on the new Snowman.

As it turns out, there is a phrase or saying I heard many times when I was growing up that is a big part of the answer to the problem of being stuck in a rut. “If you always do, what you always did, you always get what you always got.” The catch is, you have to know you are in the rut in the first place. 

So have I started to climb out of some of the ruts in my life. I’ve started with small things. For example, I’d like a brand new shiny car. However, mine is paid for and I have other financial priorities right now. So I cleaned my car up, on the inside, I haven’t done the outside yet, so that it looks nice. It doesn’t look neglected or mistreated. Something else I’ve been working on for a few months is my wardrobe. I discovered that the shirts I was wearing to work were wearing out. Which meant I needed to replace them. I did that and then realized that I needed to change-up my style some. Except, I don’t like to shop for clothes. So, I got help. I signed up for one of the online services that periodically send you clothes to try and you keep what you like, send back what you don’t. This has really forced my out of my comfort zone and out of my clothing rut. Though that one is a really deep rut so there’s still more work to do.

Those are just a couple of the more recent adjustments I’ve been making. Certainly the painting in my home this year qualifies, as does all the learning and playing guitar that I’ve been doing. I think in the last year and a half, I’ve learned more and come farther than at any other time. I’m really pleased with that. It has played a part of the climb out of a few ruts, not just my music skills rut.

There are more. Like I said, the big ol’ rut in the middle of my life is made up of a bunch of small ruts. I’ll be working on more of them in the weeks and months to come. I’m kind of excited about it. I’m looking forward to seeing what comes of it all.

And that’s the end of that Blues Jam.

As I mentioned in the last post. There was a Blues Jam. I did attend. I have video. I probably have something to write about it, however, I need to review the video again and also get it edited so I can post it for all to see. That might not happen before the next jam which is coming up this weekend. I’m also still studying for my test. I have it scheduled. It is for a week after my practice tests expire. I was worried about that until I found the option to extend my access to them for 10 days. I’m also less than a month from my trip to Australia. That means it’s time to get down to the business of the details, like what to pack, what to do regarding money, what to do to take my phone, what to pack. And oh yeah, my ride to and from the airport. Details. Details.

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Another Trip to the Valley of Suck

Posted on July 30, 2019 by SusanG

You may have seen me talk about the valley of suck before. It’s that place you visit when you have something you do that you decide to do differently and while you learn that different way of doing it all the progress and comfort you had gained from the way you did it before is no longer there.  The initial results of your efforts don’t turn out the same caliber or quality of what you were doing before you decided to change things up. And it’s always tempting to go back to the original way of doing things. This is the Valley of Suck.

  • When Switching from this to…
  • …this based on book thickness, it looks like it might be easier. That is a delusion.

You can also enter the Valley of Suck by making a seemingly small shift in required knowledge. As an example. I am studying for another test for the day job. I started out studying for the 2012 version of the test and got quite comfortable with the material and thought I was ready. And then the collective decision was made that I should take the 2016 version of the test.  After getting all the way through the book I thought I was doing ok. The first practice test I took was dismal. I was plunged directly into the depths of the Valley of Suck. Sigh.

Look, another Snowman.

The Valley of Suck can also be found when software you are using changes significantly and changes the layout or interface a lot. No matter how great the change are going to ultimately be. No matter how exciting they are they all still require adjusting. And the time it takes to adjust can feel like a trip through the Valley of Suck. The changes may slow down your work so something that took an hour is now taking two. It looks the way you want and expect, it just takes so much longer. Or maybe the algorithms have changed and it takes more work to get used to it. And those are just a few examples.  And a lot of what I am going through with the new release, or release candidate for Blender. Blender 2.80 is quite cool. And the changes and improvements are absolutely worth it. I still have to revisit the Valley of Suck at least to some extent while I get to know the interface and learn new ways of doing certain things.  

And then there is the trip through the Valley when you haven’t been performing for a bit. Be that Taekwondo or playing at a blues jam. You can practice at home to try to get ready as much as you want. When it comes time to get up on that stage and play with others that’s when you find another Valley of Suck that you forgot about.  

Ready for a Blues Jam

Oh. And one other area it turns out has a Valley of Suck. Relationships. When it’s been a while since you had one or just been awhile since you had to make new friends,  you can get out of practice and it can take a little time to get the hang of them as well.

As you can guess, lately I’ve felt like I was living in one version of the valley or another.  It takes some persistence and bullheadedness to keep going and to not let it get to you too much. 

As you might also have guessed, I made it back to a Blues Jam. It went ok. I did debut that song I was working on. I also have video that I will try to get posted in a timely manner. 

Note: I first heard the term “valley of suck” used by Danny ‘Pointpusher’ Williams at a Zbrush Summit. Just want to give some credit.

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Brain Jam

Posted on July 24, 2019 by SusanG

I actually have about three things I think I could write on this week. And since I can’t quite figure out which to choose, or how to get it all out in a coherent manner it feels like there is a traffic jam in my brain. Too many ideas trying to get out, while I’m trying to stuff more information and knowledge into it.

While I’m getting my thoughts for those other items organized, I think I’ll just give you a bit of an update as to what I’m working on and that sort of thing. I have been hard at work making improvements to my living and learning and even getting some project work in.

The Snowman is back

I am still studying for that test. It’s getting more imperative to get the studying done and the test taken. There are two reasons for that. One is that I want it done and passed before my trip, otherwise I might spend another couple of months trying to get back up to speed. The other reason is that the practice tests that I have are only good for 30 days and I’ve activated them so the clock is ticking. I’ll be putting much more study time in over the next couple of weeks.

I’m working on a new song. Well, new-ish for my repertoire. I’ve been working on playing it for a while. Now, I’m ready to add the vocals over top. It’s actually working out pretty good. I’m not quite ready for go live with it. I have a few things I need to get down better before I think I could lead it on stage. I’m close though. There is another blues jam this weekend and it would be nice to be able to play it there, I just don’t think I’m going to get quite enough practice time in between now and then to make it. Definitely something to be looking forward to though. And when I do it, I’ll be sure to get video.

I’ll probably be switching guitars for the next jam. I usually play my Telecaster because I really love the sound. However, for some reason, my back isn’t enjoying it as much as my ears and fingers. Instead I think I’ll be playing my Stratocaster. I’ve been practicing on it so it doesn’t feel awkward. I’ll be nice and comfortable with it.

It might be a guitar body

Speaking of disagreeing body parts. A few months ago I started thinking I needed to get back to a gym, in addition to my Taekwondo. At that time though I was preparing for my Black Belt test and didn’t really feel like I would give it the time and attention to make it worth the cost. After my test and then the break to rest the body, I decided I was ready to give the gym a go in addition to the Taekwondo. There’s a bit of a lead up to what comes next, but it’s not really germane to the point so I’ll skip ahead. I signed up with a trainer. The program they follow is a bit different than programs I’ve been through before so I decided it was worth a try. Admittedly, I’m not in the gym more than once a week yet. However, the exercises they’ve given me to do at home seem to be helping.

The first part of the program is to fix any foundation imbalances, which seem to be the root cause of most of my injuries. After a couple of weeks of doing the home exercises for this the one thing I’ve noticed most is that my shin splints don’t hurt. I’m wearing flat shoes, with little extra support and I’m not whimpering in pain at the end of the day. And I’m not hobbling home after Taekwondo. It’s progress, and I’ll take it.

And the other thing I’m working on, you’ll notice it in the pictures I’ve added to this post, I’m back in Blender. I’ve gotten back to working on that Blender – 3D modeling project that I’ve had in mind since last Christmas. I hit a small snag that I have already adjusted to. And I’m continuing to make bits of progress there. I’ve got two files going for that and I’m about to add a third. So I’m working on more than one segment of the idea at the same time.

Looking more like a guitar body

Blender is about to finally release version 2.80 and it’s a big change. I’ve been working on my project in both 2.79 and 2.80. It’s a little weird to go back and forth. I think I’m going to like 2.80 a bit better. It’s just taking some getting used to. So far Release Candidate 2 is out and I think final release is expected in days. They’ve had some great news lately too. A couple of major studios joining the development fund with the aim to make improvements to Blender in ways to make it easier to for major studios to adopt and to help develop. This is great news.

And there is more going on as well. Most of that is part of the other two ideas I had for this post. I’ll see if I can make enough sense of it to make it interesting to read. No promises. I could get distracted by a shiny new thought before I even get started with text on page.

Enjoy the pictures.

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Leaving Your Mark

Posted on July 16, 2019 by SusanG

There’s been a meme, or a couple of them, floating around Facebook and the internet lately stating things like ‘In a world where you can be anything, be kind’ and ‘You don’t know what someone is going through so be nice’, or something like that. We don’t really know, as we encounter people what, if any impact we will have on someone’s life. It might be fleeting, or it might be the thing that sticks with that person for years. Either way, how we interact with someone will leave a mark. And all these memes seem to basically saying the same thing; ‘what mark do you want to leave’.

I finally gave up a few years ago on the notion that I would be famous or make some big impact on the world. I don’t expect to create the world saving AI like Jarvis in Ironman. It would be cool though. I don’t expect to create massive impressive pieces of art that the world is knocking at my door to buy or display. I’ll watch as my friend enjoys that particular feast. She deserves it. I don’t expect to be a world famous guitar player or singer. I don’t even fantasize about it. I like to play and sing and I think I’m good with what I have. At least for now. Oh, and I don’t have children to ‘carry on my legacy'(please insert your own eye roll here, just don’t strain too much there’s more to read). Even so, I do impact the world. I do leave my mark.

Sewing Machine Cabinet, assembled.

I do this by my interactions with people. I have the opportunity at the jams to interact with my fellow musicians, as well as the people who come to see us. And it takes very little to be kind to someone who has been nice enough to come up to you and tell you how much they enjoyed what you played and how they really like getting to see everyone. Yes, it feels good to hear the praise. It feels really good to know someone had a good time because of what you’re doing.

I have the opportunity at Taekwondo. I interact with people my level, higher than my level, lower than my level, older than me and younger than me. And I try to treat everyone of them with respect. And to be helpful. I also have a standing rule that if a young person (high school or younger) is waiting for a ride after class, if no one is around, I will wait with them. It might be a short wait, or a long wait, it doesn’t matter. I’ll chat with them. It’s fun. I’ve learned stuff and I’ve heard some great stories. In the end, they may not remember me, but they might remember that someone was there.

I recently met someone, who I hoped I would get to spend more time with, alas that doesn’t seem to be the case. The Universe conspired with Lady Luck and Father Time to make the acquaintance a fairly short one. I knew this was going to be the case after a couple of weeks. And yet, I had already gained so much from the encounter. I learned things in general and things about myself. I even remember thinking that no matter what happened, it had been a good experience and I would not have missed it for the world.

Sewing Machine Cabinet, assembled.

You never know when you will be that encounter for someone. That one exchange, that one brief friendship that will impact their world. It might move it ahead, it might give them exactly the comfort or solace they need at that moment. It might help them through a tough time or give them just enough relief from the stress of something. It might even just be a great thing to have in their world that though wasn’t particularly dark or trying it was kind of bland and it brightened things up just enough.

Now, I’ll be honest, I forget this sometimes. I have moments when I have reached overload, I haven’t recognized it, let alone acknowledged it, and I have gone off on some one for, in retrospect no reason that was good enough to justify it. And yes, I really have, and I can actually think of two people specifically. But I do try to make amends when my good sense returns to me. It’s rather a shock when it does. And I am usually terribly upset with my behavior during that time. Fortunately it happens infrequently. The rest of the time, I really do try to make my encounters with people as pleasant as can be. Because, like the meme says, you don’t know what someone is going through. And most of the time, they really are doing the best they can.

So, in the immortal words of Bill and Ted from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, “Be excellent to each other.”

Sewing Machine Cabinet all put together.The inside.

That’s all for this week. My Dad had a birthday this weekend so I spent some time with him. Followed by an episode with a dead carbon monoxide detector in the middle of the night. There was a jam that I was actually feeling up to going to, however; I am still studying for this test and really want to get it over with so I skipped it this time. Since I’ll be missing the one in September, I’m really going to try to make it next month. The pictures are of the sewing machine cabinet all in one piece. I finally managed to get that done. Ready for my sister to pick up and take home.

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Catching You Up

Posted on July 8, 2019 by SusanG

Yes. I know. I’ve been a slacker. I haven’t kept up with my posts. I’ve totally neglected you all. But really, did you want to keep reading about my painting projects week after week? Ok maybe. You might have gotten other random thoughts as well.

So the last few weeks have been interesting. I have finished my painting projects. I’m sharing some pictures and a bit more about that in a moment. I took some time off from Taekwondo for a few weeks. I’ll fill you in on that too. There are probably a few other things as well.

Living Room starts to get a new look. The off white is super refreshing.

The painting. I finished painting the living room. It’s opposite the dining room so I painted the wall that is opposite the same color of blue as the bottom half of the dining room. It looks great. I did a little rearranging when I put some of the stuff back in place and it opens up the room and makes it feel less crowded. As I progressed with the painting I figured I’d probably want to repaint the entry hall. It was originally the tan color that I’ve been trying to eliminate. Then a few years ago I painted it one of the teal type colors that I have in my music room. Well, with the off-white color the teal didn’t really work. So the entry hall got repainted. It looks pretty cool too.

The off white is joined by some deep blue. But that fan has to go.

I have other rooms that need painting or repainting. The bathrooms need repainting. I still have to figure out the color for those rooms. The bedroom needs to be painted, it’s still that tan color, ugh. I have chosen the color for the bedroom so in theory I could start on that. I think I’ll wait though. Maybe after my trip. The kitchen needs to be painted, it’s not as dark as the dining room was before I painted it, but it’s close. And there are no windows in that room, it’s like a little cave. I will not be painting it though. The two things that I will probably hire to be painted are the ceilings and the kitchen.

Nice new fan. It works great and looks fabulous.

In between all the painting, I finally made some progress on a project that I have had since I moved into my condo. When I moved, the cabinet for the sewing machine got damaged and needed repairing. I repaired it. And then, because I didn’t have the components to match the finish that I had done for it, I decided I would completely strip it (sand it all down) and maybe finish it just in the wood and not paint it. Except that turned out to be a lot of work and not quite so easy. After years of it sitting in the garage I finally got to working on it so that it can be handed off to my sister. It’s not a piece of furniture that I find fits within my home and while having a sewing machine, I think, is important, I don’t have to have this one. So my sister is going to take it. But it’s cabinet was in pieces. So I got busy getting some of the sanding touched up and a coat or two of paint on it. It’s just about ready to be put back together so the next time my sister is in the area she can pick it up and take it home. And yes, I do still have a sewing machine. It’s a small thing that my mother picked up and gave to me. I don’t do a lot of sewing but I know how and since it can be a really useful skill so I figure I should be able to make use of it should I need it.

Sewing machine cabinet. Painted. Still in pieces.

Time off. Yes. I took time off from Taekwondo. That was a big deal. A big decision. And a neccessary one. I made it through my black belt test and the next week went to class. It was probably the hardest week of Taekwondo I’ve done. I wanted to be there, I was excited for making my new belt level except every class was a struggle. It was a struggle because of the pain from the injury I had been fighting through to get through the test. And that pain made it a struggle to enjoy class and having that new belt. I was in so much pain when I got home from class that I was miserable every time. I had a couple of people point out that taking some time off did not make me a wuss. And that sometimes you just need to take a break. And really, I did need it. Even when I’m on vacation from the day job, unless I am out of town, I don’t usually take time off from Taekwondo. I go about attending class as usual. What I’ve learned is that maybe I need to take vacation from it too.

Living Room done. That entry hall could use some help.

I took three weeks off. I went back for one class last week and survived. I’ll continue starting this week. I may try a lighter schedule through the summer and up to my September trip. After that, I’ll see how I feel and probably then pick it back up. I have to admit, I think I was a little surprised to find myself at second Dan in Taekwondo. Not because I didn’t think I could do it. When I started Taekwondo, my goal was black belt, first Dan. Then before I got there, I watched one of our instructors test for his Master level, fourth Dan, and I sort off-handed said to one of my classmates, ‘you know, Master Susan is starting to sound pretty cool’. I don’t think I took that completely seriously, or more, I don’t think I realized I took it that seriously. So finding myself having moved past first degree black belt with a single stripe on my belt to second degree with two stripes, it took a little time to sink in. I’m at least seven years from reaching Master in Taekwondo. I have a lot of time and practice to go. And hopefully, with what I’ve learned about taking some time off, I’ll be able to enjoy the journey and the training even more. I may be there before I know it.

Oh yes. The entry hall is greatly improved.

There have been a few other changes as well. I have a new ceiling fan in the living room. It looks and works so much better. Thank you to my friend for swapping that out. I’ve got new lights for the kitchen, entry hall, and dining room that I hope to get changed out soon. I have succumbed to the lure of smart home technology. My parents have the Amazon stuff in their home and my mother’s demo of it got me to thinking about how nice it would be to not have to get out of bed to turn off the light. That was the original draw. After that was a success I decided there was one more area that it would be fun to have it setup. I set it up in my music room so that I can tell Alexa to turn on my pedal board and my amp. I’ve got it setup so that she turns them on in the right order and it works really well. I can also tell her to turn them off.

There was a blues jam in there. I had a good time. I did not take video. I confess with all the painting, and the Women’s World Cup going on, I have not been practicing much guitar. I also had a minor, looked like major, computer breakdown. That appears to be resolved though it’s not all put back together. There is more to come even before my big trip in September. I still have the test I’ve been studying for that I need to take. I think I’m getting there. And I need to get my Art room, where the computer is, set back up, cleaned back up, and organized. And the trip in September, to Australia, is all paid for. I’ve just got the ETA (visa) to get and I’ll be set. Oh. I may need to do something about luggage. I’ll figure that one out soon.

I know this is a bit long. Hopefully it’s enough to fill you in and bring you up to date and your coffee cup is only just empty so it’s not too long. Enjoy some pictures of the painting projects.

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