Or that we do.
I have a friend who is quite ill. He has a rare cancer that isn’t responding to treatment, and it is just eating him up. I have had the good fortune to have a couple of interesting conversations with him recently and one in particular stands out.
My friend isn’t especially fond of people and in fact there are very few that he would call friends. In spite of that, he has still had an impact on people that he didn’t even have a clue about, until they started showing up to help out or to stop by and offer some moral support. He was completely caught off guard. He’s a little confused by the idea and fact that not only is his current wife taking care of him, but his ex-wife has been there to help out and take care of him and backup his current wife. He told me that in a way, he wished he’d ran a motorcycle into a wall instead of this somewhat drawn-out process.
I pointed out to my friend that had he ran a motorcycle into a wall he would never have known how and how much he had impacted people’s lives and that getting to learn that was a gift. He gets to leave this life knowing that he did have an impact on people around him, though he may have not thought he did.
Did he do anything spectacular or special with his life? Not really. I asked him what all he had done, in reference to his different jobs or careers because I knew of like five different and diverse careers that he’d had. And his response was something like, ‘I kept a roof over our heads and kept my kids fed.’
We never know how or how much we impact someone just by living our lives. Just by being who we are and going about our days, our weeks, our lives as we do. I understand how he feels finding out that he’s been impactful to people. It’s an odd thing to have someone come up to you and say, ‘you know, I really admire the way you do…’ I’ve had that happen. More than once. And it always surprises me. I know I live my life as I choose, for the most part, and it doesn’t completely conform to what seems to be the norm or the expectation. But I never expected it to be something someone actually noticed and got something from. Like my friend, I just live my life.
Where I am always most surprised to get mention of is when I play music out. I don’t think I’m an especially accomplished musician or singer. I enjoy doing it and I always give it my best. And I am always surprised to find out that someone really enjoyed my performance, and even more surprised to find out someone showed up to whatever event because I was going to be there or might be there.
And that’s the thing, right? That even if we don’t think we are noteworthy regarding our life or what we do. Whether that’s playing music in some club once a month, or just the way we interact with colleagues, we have to accept that we will impact someone’s life. And we may be a bigger impact than we are prepared for. Hopefully, in whatever way we touch someone’s life it is for the better. But really, we have no control over it, and we have to accept that too. It’s quite surreal.
That’s the deep philosophical part of this week’s post. There will be another one coming in the next few weeks. But I’m not ready to write that one. So, let’s move on to other things now.
It has been an interesting couple of weeks, and a few days in particular. Of course, I’ve been working on art. The Iguana was demanding. I’ve probably mentioned that. It might also be that it felt a little obsessive. Like it needed to be completed. It is the most complicated, detailed, and involved stippling painting I’ve done. And the fact that I think I have pulled it off amazes me.
So. The update on the Iguana is… the Iguana is done. I’ve finished the detail on it. I did let it sit for a while before I signed it. I wasn’t sure that the painting itself was done, at first. I thought it might need just a little more. Kind of like the Koala needed the tree that it was looking at to be there. At first, I thought the Iguana kind of needed the rock it’s sitting on. I thought about doing it in stippling as well but as I worked on it, and got close to finishing it, I thought that to do the rock in stippling would be overwhelming and decrease the impact of the Iguana itself. So, I thought of doing the rock in watercolor. Ultimately, I didn’t. After a day or so I realized that it just didn’t need it.
At that point I was able to get back to working on the Galah. I had an idea of how to tackle the wings for about two weeks, but that Iguana didn’t want me to work on it. It did take me a moment to get settled to work on it since it’s watercolor and I had been laying down dots for so long. But it was nice to get back to working on it.
Both the Iguana and the Galah are too big for my scanner so I will have to take them to an art photographer to get the digital files I need for uploading them to my art store. I had hoped to have them both done and off to the photographer before my trip I was planning to take, but that didn’t happen. And even though the trip got canceled I still haven’t got over to the photographer. I’m a little nervous about using the photographer, but, if the results are good, then it really opens up things for me because it means I’ll be able to work bigger.
I also got a chance to work on the experiment. I had got it to the point of needing to have a coat of spray fixative applied so I could continue working on it. It’s on watercolor paper, not pastel paper so it doesn’t start with a lot of tooth. But I did it that way because I knew I wanted to try the technique of dissolving the pastels, so the support had to be able to handle the water. That means that it very quickly ran out of the ability to take any more pastel chalk and hold onto it. Thus, the fixative. Of course, once that was done, and it was dry, I was ready to work on it. I’m pleased and surprised how it’s coming along. It might need another round of fixative.
Every once in a while, I wake up and have to go right to the art studio and work on something. Something is compelling me, and it doesn’t care about breakfast or coffee it needs to be done or tried. I had that happen a week or two ago. I woke up and knew I had to try a version of the experiment in oils instead of pastels. Yep. Oil paints. I’ve completed one painting in oils and I’ve started another. It’s not like I have a lot of experience with oil paints. But that is what was called for. I got the base of the water in and that was enough to satisfy the need. That won’t be the last of the project. I’ll work on it further. I may even finish it. It will be interesting to see how it turns out, pastel versus oil paints. I expect it will be quite a different piece, much like my Aussie flower that I did in pastel on colored paper and then again in watercolor and colored pencil.
Yes, I had planned on taking a trip. I was going to New York. It would have been my first trip to New York as a destination. I’ve been through New York once but that was it. This time it is the final stop. Originally, I was planning on going to a concert, but the concert got canceled. And no, I couldn’t have seen the concert at home. This was one of my Aussie music artists that doesn’t really tour the U.S. But, since, to see her I was going to have to travel, I chose the place I’d never been. Unfortunately, she has had to postpone or cancel the rest of her tour because of health reasons so I wasn’t going to get to see her. I was however still going to go to New York. I was going with a neighbor, and we had gotten tickets to see a Broadway musical. And I was going to get to see New York. Unfortunately, my neighbor got sick. As this was strike two for this trip, we decided to call it off for now. When the universe starts creating obstacles it’s time to let the universe have its way. It turned out to be ok.
Because I wasn’t traveling, I got to visit my friend again. And I got to watch the black belt promotion test of several of the students that I train Taekwondo with. It was a large group. And it was great. I was thrilled to get to see all of them do such a great job. And they yelled! I can’t quite explain what it was like to sit there and feel all that. I’m glad I had that opportunity.
I’ve started a new piece. I decided to take a chance that the photographer is going to work out and this one is much bigger. It’s 18in x 24in. And it’s a stippling. The great thing about bigger is more space to either use more of the subject or have a multi-subject piece such as the one I started. I’m working on a stippling project of two penguins. I’ve got a good portion of one of the penguins filled in. I got part way done and realized I needed to make it darker, so I backed up and did that as it impacts how the lighter areas get approached. The contrast is important.
I could probably keep writing but that should get you up to date for now. I’ll be working on the penguins and starting another piece or two. Oh. I did post a Christmas themed piece, it’s up on the store. I’ll drop a picture of it here too. Cheers!