No. Not voice lessons, or instrument lessons. More like just, lessons.
My recent performance at the Jam did not go quite as I would have liked. Which is part of why I don’t have the videos posted yet. I’ve been procrastinating owning up to the fact that I did not do as good as I could have and I did not do as good as I wanted. I got fixated on something and tried to make it fit and things didn’t go as well as I would have liked.
I thought about ignoring everything and not posting any of it. That would be silly, and
unfair to everyone else. Especially since, there were some really good bits in there. I thought about making a bunch of excuses for how things went. That would be even sillier in my opinion. Once you see the video, you see where the short comings are. That’s the beauty of recording the performance. And as hard as it can be, it’s exactly why I do it. And I’m not going to keep it to myself. I’m going to share it. I’m going to share it because sometimes it helps to see someone else learn.
I recognized, pretty quickly, some of the lessons in that experience. I never had any intention of ignoring any of them. I just had to take some time to come to grips with what to do about them. So here are some of the lessons I learned from having a ‘not up to my liking’ performance, and having it on video.
The lesson I’ll start with is that I do know how well it’s going. I just need to listen to my instincts. And if it’s not going well, it can be turned around. I just have to pay attention. I knew my performance on the first song did not go as well as I wanted. I could hear it and I could feel it. After seeing the video, I can say, I was right. Now I get to learn from that, and learn how to turn it around so it is going better, quickly.
One of the most important lessons, was more of a reminder. I forgot to breathe. I forgot to breathe properly and I forgot to breathe to relax and enjoy what I was doing. If I had done that, my performance would have been better, in so many ways. So I need to remember that. I know it seems odd, but remembering to breathe takes practice. I’m just going to have to keep trying. Maybe I should write it on my hand before each Jam. Breathe.
Probably the biggest lesson, partly because it covers so much and also because it’s just a
big lesson, was that I still have a lot to learn. I still have a lot to learn about playing the guitar in general, as well as playing the guitar in the songs I’ve been playing. And I still have a lot to learn about my own singing. Oh yeah, and I still have a lot to learn about leading the group and communicating with everyone. I’m going to come back to this because it is big.
The last lesson, that I’ll cover is that as hard as it may be to watch, that video really is a friend. It tells it to you straight. It’s that friend that says…’girl, those jeans make you look fat, what the heck were you thinking with that hair and what sort of color is that sweater you’re wearing. Lawd have mercy, who dressed you this morning?’ So I’ll keep using the video camera at jams. This way, not only do I have record of my progress, I also to get to experience the performance again.
Back to that big lesson. I’d say this was a shock except it wasn’t. It wasn’t a surprise. I really knew this. Well most of it. But it was still frustrating. I have come so far and to realize I still have so much further to go took a bit to process. So what do I do about it? Mostly, I’ll just keep learning. But more specifically, for the guitar and singing, I will keep practicing what I’ve been doing and if that doesn’t work I’ll try something different. I am still making progress, even this last week, I’ve seen some improvement in my ability to finger some of the rhythm patterns. And I’ve identified something vocally I want to adjust, so I will work on that. I still want to learn to play some lead on the guitar and as much as the loop pedal has helped, I think I have a better solution so I’ll give that a try. As far as the communicating and leading? I will pay closer attention and be more aware to start with and I’ll figure out the rest as I go.
I tried not to beat myself up over the performance. I tried to accept it for what it was, a chance to learn. But, because I thought I’d been getting so much better, the experience did leave me in a bit of a funk for a couple of days. I didn’t let it stop me from practicing. It helped that I already had a song picked out that I wanted to work on. And I had some ideas for how I could better assess myself I just need to start using them. Like that better solution to the loop pedal. That was something I’ve been thinking about for a while. I just needed some information.
That information came from a very helpful salesman who could answer all my questions and make a recommendation for a reasonably priced recording solution. The recording solution will not be replacing my friend the video camera for performances. This is for
my home practice. It allows me to record two tracks at a time into my computer, and then I can add more tracks after that. It was easier to setup than figuring out how to use my fancy loop pedal that is still in the box. It can help with both my singing as well as my guitar playing in so many ways. The most important way it will help is that it will allow me to record what I’m doing and then step back and listen to myself. Just listen. Not try to listen while I play. Just listen. I’m kind of excited about this.
It’s not easy facing it when you don’t do as well as you could and you know it. But, it is a great opportunity to learn. Some of how you do that is to keep trying and to not hide from the goof ups, mistakes, or short comings. With that, I will work more diligently to get the videos posted soon even though I’ll be cringing every time you watch one.