I know, it’s been more than a month since I’ve posted. I really want to post on a more regular schedule, every two weeks or even every week. It’s just not been that easy. For one, most of the time I have no clue what to write about. I’ve written or started this post 5 times, I think. I’ve even finished most of what I’ve written. Then I would go back to read what I’d written, before I posting it and I wouldn’t be happy with it. Either it didn’t have the tone I wanted or it didn’t say quite what I wanted to say. Or I decided it sounded too preachy, and I seriously do not want that.
So here I sit, trying to figure out what to write about. It’s not that there isn’t stuff happening. We all know there is. I mean if you’ve caught any of the news in the USA, even as censored as it is, you know there’s stuff happening. And some of it gives me anxiety. Anxiety for myself, anxiety for people I know, and anxiety for people I don’t know. I don’t want to write about that stuff because this isn’t meant to be a political blog. And I haven’t done the research that I think I should do to even write about it. I’d want to be as fully informed as possible and frankly, right now, like a lot of people, fully informed and my sanity are mutually exclusive. It’s not that I’m not aware. I have not buried my head in the sand. I am aware.
Aside from the crazy that is happening in the world there is still stuff going on with me. I’m working on art, some of which I’ve posted and some I’m not quite ready to post or discuss in depth yet. That’s made trying to figure out what to write about hard because I want to talk about some of the changes I’m seeing in my art and my approach to it, and the project that I’m working on and not talking about, has had an influence on that and I’m not ready to talk about that yet. So it’s a limbo thing. And even with that, I’m not sure I want to write about that either because announcing what I’m “going to do” sounds a little disingenuous. And it creates massive pressure and the way the world is right now, who needs that.
In the past, especially this past couple of years, I’ve had a lot of art to post, maybe not write about, but post. That has allowed me to keep up with the socials, well at least Instagram and Facebook. And I wonder if that has set an unsustainable pace for me, art wise, so I’m trying to slow down and take my time. However, as I work on my current pieces, I find that there are points in each piece where the creating just seems to fly by. So, it’s not always easy. Sometimes, I start at one point on a painting in the morning and if I’ve been lucky enough to have the day to work on art, instead of the day job, I get to the evening and I’ve done so much that it feels like completion is so close. And that’s great, even if it is rare that, that is actually the case. So maybe “slowing down” isn’t really the answer.
What I really want to do is really focus on creating the best piece of art I can. I try to spend a little more time considering if I’ve got the darks dark enough, and if I chose a pose or position that is more dynamic and that tells more of a story than it being just a pretty picture or amazing shot. I feel like I’ve been making pretty pictures. And I want to do a little more than just that. Because I have to tell you, when that’s all they are, a pretty picture, I have a hard time getting hyped up to tell you about them. They’re nice. I had fun painting them, I maybe even learned something cool while creating them. I’m even please and proud of the work I’ve done. But I have a hard time blowing my own horn over them and saying ‘hey, look at me, I painted a pretty picture’. I know that’s what I’m supposed to do. I just have a hard time doing it.
As far as other things going on in my world… I’m still training Taekwondo. I don’t have any real updates there. I won’t be testing again for another year so nothing else to really report. There is the day job. And the day job is the day job. It looks like I will by making another trip to Orlando for a department meeting in June, for that. I have finished reading three books already this year that I really like. One book, I finished in less that 24 hours. I’ve started reading about 3 or 4 others as well. None of them are compelling enough right now for me to just stick with them all the way through. Or, the craziness of the world right now makes it difficult to stay focused. You choose.
I have also managed to binge watch two series. Not something I do on the regular. Aside from watching movies on repeat while I work on art, I don’t usually catch much “tv” or “streaming tv”. So to have binged two series already this year a bit of a detour. For the curious, one series is a current one on Netflix and the other one is an older one, ok older than I want to admit, on Peacock. They were fun.
And the music. That’s a bit of a mess for me right now. I haven’t been playing much. Not guitar, or the piano/keyboard that I was starting to learn. I think it has a lot to do with teaching it. I’m a bit lost doing it. I’m not a teacher. And I’m certainly not a music teacher. I agreed to do it to get them started and to help out. Now I’m at the point that I don’t know what to teach them to keep them interested and excited to practice. I was hoping for them to get excited about playing and to start to explore things on their own as they learned enough. And since I haven’t really explained that, it’s been a lot of the same old, same old each week. I say ‘play me what you’re working on’ and then offer some notes, ask if there are questions and that’s it. That isn’t fun for either of us.
And while that doesn’t sound like it should really impact my enjoying playing guitar for myself or even plunking out something on the keyboard, it does. I think it’s because they are my neighbor and live across the hall and I don’t want them hearing me working on something and then wondering about why I’m not teaching that. Well, you gotta master the basics first. Which is a bit of the issue. Anyway. It feels weird. I guess it’s not wanting to show someone up or to show off. There’s probably a lot to unpack there. And we’re not getting into that. So I haven’t been playing, at home or out. And honestly, right now, even if I was playing at home, it’s probably not what I’d be writing about.
So yeah, that brings us back to the start and why I haven’t been posting like I want to. Most of the time I have no clue what the heck to write about. And, even if there is stuff happening, it doesn’t usually feel like something I can really write about, or is worth writing about. It’s quite a dilemma. And with that. I think I’ll wander back to the studio to work for a little bit longer before making some food.
Cheers!
One last thing. My sister did a thing and wrote a book and published it on Amazon. You can find it here: Fearless By Design
I get no revenue or anything affiliated with this book. I’m just supporting my sister.