Sometimes you have to not do something you really want to. I’m not talking about holding back the smart mouthed response you wanted to give your boss. I’m talking actually something you really enjoy doing but you find yourself in a position of it not being in your best interest.
I found myself in this position this week. I love going to Taekwondo. In the 5 plus years I have been doing it, I have never woke up on a day I was planning on going to Taekwondo and had the thought that I didn’t want to go. I may have thought that I would like to do something else, and yet, it had nothing to do with not wanting to go to Taekwondo. And I almost always, if not always, end up at Taekwondo. So, for there to be a day that I decide not to go, of my own volition, something has to be up. As it turns out, I seem to have injured myself. And the injury is being rather rude.
I’ve no idea how I did it. I have several theories. What I do know is that it was irritated significantly in Yoga this week. Ok. Yes. I can injure myself in Yoga. I can throw my back out just by breathing so why would this not be possible. Anyway. I got into a pose that I have done many times before and nearly couldn’t transition to the next pose or then stand up from there. Lots of pain. Not pose pain. Just body pain.
I got through class and then headed home to get ready for and go to the Blues Jam.
If you are wondering how that was going to work out, well it did. In fact it was a great jam. Lots of fun and good energy. I’ll come back to it in a moment.
So I didn’t think too much of what happened until I got into Taekwondo class a couple nights later. I’m going along doing the drills fine until we come to either a round house kick or a sliding side kick, and I don’t remember which. I went to kick with my left foot and as I did the pain in the left hip flexor area was quite sharp. So I kicked lower. But I hurt quite a bit the next day. To be fair. I’ve been battling some pain on this side for a few months now. So while I’d like to say I hurt myself in Yoga, because of the irony, it might not be entirely true. Anyway, pain the next day, and the day after still, and ice in between and not a lot of relief. So the night of the next Taekwondo class comes and I want to go so bad. And I could only have done a round house kick if it were to save my life, and yet maybe not even then. So I stayed home. This was a difficult decision to come to. Not for feeling guilty of missing class. It was hard because I really wanted to go. When I finally realized I was not going to be able to give my best, or even fifty percent of my best, I gave in. I got a bag of ice, sat on the couch with that ice on my hip and watched the news.
I never like to not be able to give my best at whatever I’m doing. Be that Taekwondo, or playing and singing at the blues jam. And I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure how the jam was going to go for me since I knew I wasn’t at my best. As I result I was very pleased, and a little surprised at how things did turn out.
I’ve had a chance to watch the video. In fact, I’ve got it all edited, I just need to post it. I was kind of excited to see how the first set I did went because it felt like it went really well. So I watched it as soon as I got home that night. Ugh. That meant for a late night with an early morning to follow. But I was glad to see it. Now, after seeing it all, and noting my mistakes, and my successes, I feel pretty good.
What I noticed most, was that, because I didn’t have the reserves to really push anything, I didn’t. I didn’t realize I was doing this. But I didn’t over sing as much as I sometimes do. My voice was still strong but a bit more relaxed. As were most of the numbers I did. I didn’t have any energy to be nervous about playing songs I’ve never played. Or playing songs I’ve only done once. I had the energy to get up there, give it the best I had, and have fun. And heavens, did I have fun. I got to play with some new people and I got to play with someone I haven’t played with in way too long a time. I got to learn to play new songs and I managed some pretty good lead parts. It was a really, really good time. And I am so glad I was able to make it. It might be worth noting that, even though I was hurting as I headed out, it never occurred to me to not go.
So where does the Taekwondo and Yoga situation stand? Well, for now, I will be cutting back on Yoga. I still have not learned how to pull back and not push myself in Yoga. I have learned it in Taekwondo. And since I am expecting to test for my next level of black belt in the spring, I would rather heal up and do that. If that means I step away from Yoga for a while, that’s what it means. We’ll see how it goes and I’ll take it one class at a time. And for this week, and possibly next week, I’ll be doing the same with Taekwondo. I’d like to be there. I really do love it. However, taking a few days or a couple of weeks off now is better than getting to the test and not being able to do what I need to and then not passing. It doesn’t mean it’s not a difficult thing to do and it doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. It does. But that’s the thing about both Taekwondo and Yoga. Knowing your limits, knowing when to push those limits, and knowing when to accept those limits for that moment.
Now, you might have noticed. I have the jam video edited. I’ll be posting that this next week, if not sooner. Hopefully you will enjoy them. I’m still working on learning some new things. I don’t know if I will have anything ready for the next jam, as I think it’s just around the corner. I was working on one song that I think I need to work on a lot more before it’s really ready. I’m starting to get to the point that I don’t feel I can just pick up a song and learn to sing it and kind of play it. It’s time to push those limits and for now that means, new songs need more than a week or two of work to make them jam worthy.